Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Kindness, or weakness?

This is an odd kind of a post for me, but I've recently been thinking a lot about how kindness and helping other people sometimes leads said other person to begin to believe that you weak, and its completely okay to be used for that reason.

What on earth is that all about?!

So I work in a pretty intense environment. We deal with a lot of crap from people, and then we leave not completely hating the world because we go back and chat with our colleagues and get our faith in society back again.

I would also say that in general its a very friendly and helpful environment. It is not unusual for people to have helped me out without really needing to, and in a way that causes problems for them. For example, waiting around a couple of hours for me to finish my shift when they know that I've had a really horrible series of events so they want to stay even if its just for a quick hug when I get back. Or the people who have had to stay longer to help explain a computer program to me. Or the ones that just make an effort to come and have a chat when they can see that I'm exhausted and barely staying awake. Even just the people who wait around to give me a lift home because they live pretty close to me. And I appreciate all of these people, significantly. And even if it is only a small thing they have done, that doesn't change how much I appreciate it - and, I suppose, how much I will go out of my way to help them should the situation come up.

Of course, it doesn't always work quite that way back!

I like to think I'm generally really good at helping the others where I can. I'm new too, but if I know something then I'll share it with you. Recently that has been little things like just showing someone how to use the printer, how to sign out of something, or talking them through paperwork when they can't keep their eyes open anymore. Because they're my buddies, or my co-workers, and they'd do it back.

When it gets to the point that actually, you're pretty sure they would never do it back, then it becomes a little more conflicting.

There's a story, of course. Something has recently changed between me and the person I probably had the most respect for. I'm not entirely sure what. We always got on, then we started getting close, and then he freaked out or something and just got kind of obnoxious. The other day I saw him really struggling, and I decided that the fact that he'd been a bit of a douche before didn't matter. The guy was stuck. He couldn't get onto his computer. He couldn't fill out the paperwork. He couldn't read it properly. He wasn't typing properly and was just writing the same sentences over and over again. I spent just over two hours sitting there, going through the paperwork with him, basically doing it for him at some points. And then, at the end of it all, he ended up kind of being a complete douche about it and getting kinda rude about really silly things. In the end I even said, "You do realise I just spent two hours sitting here helping you, missed my ride home, and everything else right?" His response being, "Sure, but I didn't ask you to do that." True, and I didn't do anything expecting anything out of it, but you know, a little bit of kindness would have been nice. I helped him because he was stuck and because it was the right thing to do, and because if I hadn't have helped him he would still be sitting there right now. Well, that kind of reaction is how you lose all of my respect, and it is disappointing it has come to that with someone I used to feel quite a high regard for.

It's ironic, because when I was stuck with something before the same guy told me that you can't hold other people to the same high standards you set for yourself. And to me, that situation does apply perfectly in this case, and its a shame really.

If the situation came up the other way, would he stay and help me? Absolutely not.

If it came up again, would I help him again? In my head I'd like to think of all these great come backs and remarks I'd make instead, but truthfully, yes, I probably would.

Does that make me weak? Still thinking on that one.
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  1. I don't think that makes you weak at all, I think it makes you a very kind person and I dread to think what the world would be like if people like you didn't exist. You deserve a lot more respect from the guy that you helped out, but don't let him make you doubt yourself! xx

  2. Not weak. You care. Caring isn't weakness, it is strength. The ones who don't see that, who don't value the carers, they are the weak.
    Sadly, in my life too at the moment there seems to be a bit of an overwhelming majority of those who don't care and don't value the carers. We are an important minority though. Don't change :)


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